May 2004
Sunday, May 30
If I bring an umbrella, it would never start raining...
It does not rain only within the time of my having an umbrella.
Only within the time of my not having, it rains like an evil spirit.
Is that common?
Saturday, May 29
In order to concentrate on writing activities, I was going to leave the present work in this month.
But, I have kept back by the co-worker.
She likes me very much, so if I leave there, she will miss me.
I asked her why she liked me, then she said, "Because you are friendly and you have fantastic skills."
Every time I see her, she is always happy that she can work with me.
Actually, I am so tired of the job, but if I stay home all day to concentrate on writing activities, it is not so good for me. I know what will happen. sooner or later, I want to talk with someone extremely or I become crazy.
Occasionally, I should have a point of contact with society.
I called up the temporary agency, and I withdrew resignation, and told the will which carries out renewal of a dispatch contract.
"Then, I need your help well from now on!"
"Today is not your last day. You come here again. I can work together with you -- ?"
Everybody became happy.
That is, also unexpectedly, I am loved by everybody.
Although I have not noticed personally.
Anyhow, after I published a book, surrounding people have changed the view which looks at me.
When I was walking, my co-worker was pursuing behind me,
"Madam! Shall we go to drink together with the money of royalties?"
What's "Madam"?
Friday, May 28
When I said my mon that I would leave my current job in this month, they asked me,
"Did you find a new job? Why don't you look for a job?"
Well, I may look for a new job, but think about it...
Even if I begin a job that I am not fit for,
it is very hard to work longer then I have to change job again. I know the conclusion.
No merit is born to each other. A burden is also unavoidable.
Go out for work like most people, and get a salary like most people---
I am sorry that I cannot do that way any more.
To be sure, writing activities are extension of my hobby.
However, I got a royalty, so in fact I've done it for work.
I think it important to take up work suitable for myself.
Otherwise, I will accumulate stress, then I will be depressed.
I have done the repetition until now.
Monday, May 24
After all I couldn't see my boyfriend....
I could not give him a souvenir in Tokyo....
I am so sad....
Anyway, my photo is opened to the public. It is on my temporary agency web site.
Today is my day-off, so I used to exchange e-mail about that with the company.
Saturday, May 22
I didn't see my boyfriend since May 5. He is always busy so he always finish his work at eleven.
On his day-off, I mean on the weekend, I have to work so there is no chance to go out for date.
I have a souvenir in Tokyo for him. Let me check the date ...
"Best before : May 26"
Oh my God....
Wednesday, May 19
As a result of my considering many things, this month was full of me and I decided to leave the present work.
They said, "I wanted you to work longer." but I cannot tell a lie to my feeling.
Although I tried to remember that it’s just a job, I was hopeless.
I want to carry out perfect combustion in all.
There is no work which becomes as my wish altogether in this world.
I know about that. Even in writing activities, things did not often carry satisfactorily.
But, the reason why I have done it because I wanted to accomplish the big project.
Sunday, May 16
In the morning, before I went out for a job, I telephoned, "I want to quit a job. I cannot stand it."
I couldn't help crying.
But, after all, I went out for a job.
I cannot control myself any longer.
I have no idea what I am doing.
But, it was no problem somehow today.
Saturday, May 15
Only my ugly portion has appeared.
Then My worth falls rapidly. I have brought it on myself.
On my way back, While crossing a bridge,
I have thought suddenly, "If I jump down from here, I will become easy".
However, I persuaded myself. "Don't commit suicide."
Is there any meaning whose I do this work truly?
I have no idea.
I understand absolutely that it is not useless for all experiences, but...
After I crossed a bridge, I arrived at a station.
When I got on a train, a foreigner group was there.
They are chatting pleasantly in English.
I felt the spectacle comfortable.
I know why I felt comfortable.
If I have a bitter experience, and I cannot slip out of depression, I go to Canada to reset myself.
After I regain myself, I change my mind and do my best again.
I want to stop this vicious circle anyhow, but I cannot stop that...
The only way is to quit this job...?
Friday, May 14
Today is the last day for my vacation.
It must have been the schedule of five consecutive holidays, from Tuesday to Saturday.
But, even though I enjoyed in Roppongi in Tokyo with my sister, my boss called up to my cellular phone to ask me to work from Saturday.
A cellular phone is anywhere connected, as long as the power is on.
My relatives are in the Tokyo area. My dad lives in the dormitory in Tokyo, and my sister's family are nearby Tokyo. So I don't have to make a reservation for a hotel, and I don't have to pay the lodging charges, neither.
When my sister told her husband's brother that I published a book, he said to her, "Why didn't you tell me that early more??"
According to her, he was going to buy it.
My dad, sister's husband, and my cousin bought the book. But my boyfriend didn't. I think my boyfriend doesn't intend to do that. When I was in a coffee shop in Tokyo with my sister and the husband, we were talking about that. He felt strange at the story. I asked him, "If she (my sister) publish a book, are you going to buy it?" He answered, "Of course!"
Thursday, May 13
I received three business cards in Tokyo. Because I met three people.
But, I've never given my business card to anybody. Actually, I had that, but just for private.
I came out as a technical writer on May 1, so I should make the business card, but I didn't make yet.
What's the sub title for the business card? "Writer"?
I regretted that I didn't give that to anybody at that time.
Anyway, I went to Roppongi Hills with my sister, and the husband came to us after he finished work. When I had to go back to Osaka by Shinkansen, they took me to go to JR Tokyo station.
We had a good time.
Wednesday, May 12
I had a appointment at 1 o'clock for the interview about my book for my temporary agency.
My sister took me to go to the head office. It was close to JR Tokyo station. We arrived there 15 minutes earlier, but I visited the office.
The interviewer had a digital camera to take my photos for the web site.
I was hesitating once, but after I was thinking for a while, I accepted. so not only my real name but my photo is going to come out on the Internet.... oh my God...
After the interview, I met my sister again, and we enjoyed shopping. The husband works for JR, so we went to the station where he was working, and I bought the ticket of the return to Osaka by a credit card.
Tuesday, May 11
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning, before the alarm time :-(
I thought "It is too early".. and I slept again, and I got up at 7.
What should I bring to Tokyo? A toothbrush, an one-way ticket and a book for reading in the train...?
My sister told me not to bring a pajamas.
I left home at 8:20 and I got on a train at 8:30. I changed the train twice before I got on the Shinkansen.
Maybe I will go back to Osaka Tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.
I am not sure. I have five days holidays :)
I got on the Shinkansen at 9:43, from Shin-Osaka station.
Not "Nozomi" but "Hikari" so it took for three hours. Unfortunately, it was so noisy in the car because of junior high school students for the school trip. They got on from Kyoto.
but, at noon, I could see the Mt. Fuji on the left site. It was beautiful.
After I arrived at Tokyo station, I was checking the train root map. It was so complicated...
but for this ticket, the center of Tokyo area is available for JR line, so I tried to use JR as much as possible.
I do not have land intuition, so Tokyo for me is like a maze.
After all, I missed my way and I was late for the appointment time, 2:00pm.
I was happy to meet two people, in charge of the editing staff and the production service.
We were talking about this writhing activities and in the future.
After the appointment, the person of the production services guided Tokyo for me. We are walking in the street and went to Harajuku, and Meiji Jingu --- for good luck for the future.
There were a lot of green, more than Osaka.
Monday, May 10
In the morning, before I started to work, I went to the station office to buy one-way ticket to Tokyo.
I got five days vacation from tomorrow! I am so happy.
But I worked overtime till 22:00. Oh, no.... I worried about tomorrow.
Saturday, May 1
Today is the date of issue of my work. But I had to work until 9 o'clock so I couldn't check any book stores whether it was beginning to be sold or not.
My profile indicated by the colophon of the book specifies my year of birth and last school education.
My last school education--- the major was home economics ...what?
I think everybody feels very strange at that, don't you think?