Have You Changed Since You Were A Child?
After Graduated from Collage
I started working for a company, but I couldn't get along with co-workers. I was disliked by them again, and I'd been left out. I was always lonely.
After I broke up with my first boyfriend, I started learning English in order to forget about those things easily. I couldn't speak English at all when I enrolled the first English conversation school, but I had a great time. I made many friends and a new boyfriend as well. I used to commute there every day after work. I had learned English conversation for 6 years, until the school went bankrupt.
However, I had still had trouble with relationships. I still used to brag about myself because I wanted them to understand me. I didn't understand why I had such a hard time.
When I wrote my 5th book in 2007, people kept posting slanderous abusive things about me on the Internet for a long time. That's why I got depression. I would have a strong sense of suspicion of others. I'd lost a lot of friends because of that. I'd also lost my job.
My friend who lives near Tokyo always told me not to speak about myself too much. But I didn't understand the point for a while. Especially my mom was worried about the problem, but I didn't understand.
After I had been struggling with those things, I learned why I shouldn't brag about myself, I also learned why I shouldn't be too self-conscious.
Just as I thought, people don't care about me. So I started focusing on what I can or what I want to do.